Adam&EveThe first definition of the word relationship is CONNECTION. When you connect with someone you are attached, linked, fixed, you heard the expression “joined at the hip”. I will contend that one of the major issues with relationships is the connection. Even when we look at our relationship with Christ, Jesus described it in John 15:1-8. Jesus said that He is The Vine and we are the branches. If you remain in Me and I remain in you, you can ask whatever you want and it will be yours. The key to getting what you want is in the connection. Everyone that comes into your life is for a reason; the challenge sometimes is finding or even discovering what that reason is. Thusly, begins the challenge of relationships. This blog is devoted specifically to our personal relationships that we either have or long to have with “the one.” I learned about true God-given relationships by going through the pain of a broken one. Sometimes it amazes me that often through our pain, we LEARN, we GROW! The greatest pain produces the greatest growth. Someone even said it takes dirt to make a flower grow. Trust me I wished it was another way, however, it is not. Therefore, knowing that it is going to rain on the just and unjust, you have to learn how to dance in the rain and become rain-proof. Hence, what is happening outside of you is not damaging what you have on the inside of you.

We search and go everywhere to find the best advice for relationships. Well, I want to just lift up a story that I believe has the key in helping you in your relationships and it has surely helped me.

In the 2nd chapter of Genesis we find the leading place where the idea of marriage is revealed in all of God’s Word and we must grasp what is said in Genesis before we can understand what Paul and others said in the other passages that follow. In Chapter 2 of Genesis, it reveals God’s intention of a “perfect” relationship. After God created everything and Adam went around naming all the animals; Adam had plenty of work to do. Remember God placed him in charge of all that he created. Nevertheless, in spite of all the work, Adam was lonely. That goes to show you that staying “busy” never satisfies that void of companionship/ partnership. Look, when God saw that Adam was lonely, God said, “It is not good.” Everything that God created prior, God said, “it was good” but when he saw that Adam was alone, God said that is not good. Loneliness is a pain you can feel, a knot deep inside your stomach that keeps eating away at you. I’m not talking about just being alone. I’m talking about loneliness and it hurts. You can be in the midst of hundreds of people and be very lonely. Thusly, God decided that he was going to fix this issue of loneliness; so He placed Adam into a deep sleep and withdrew from his side a rib and made woman. God’s medicine for loneliness is companionship. You were not created to be by yourself. You may be saying to yourself that you don’t need anyone; you are lying! Understand that companionship encompasses diverse means of relationships- from family, friends, associates and personal. STOP saying, “I don’t need a man. “I don’t need a woman.” Yes you do! There are things that God designed specifically for man to do, likewise, specifically for women to do.

God did not say, I am going to make a “lover for him, nor a mother of his children for him.” God said, I am going to make a “helper” for him. Because prior too, no “suitable helper” was found; the animals are able to help, but just didn’t fit. Nothing worse than having on a beautiful dress or suit but it just doesn’t “fit”; It can be the best looking dress/suit in the store, but if it doesn’t fit, it will not look right on you. Stop looking at outward appearances, you need that one that God has fashioned for you, tailor-made, so that he/she will “fit”. When God presents Eve unto Adam, Adam looks at Eve and says, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh…” In other words Adam was saying, “Wo! Man! I didn’t know you could create someone so perfect for me!” A perfect “fit”; and in that moment Adam’s loneliness is gone.

People have so many qualifications for a relationship. Many of those qualifications are superficial. It is ok to have your list but can I ask the brothers, on that list you ask God to bring to you to one he made from your rib; ladies can I ask that on your list you ask God to bring you to the man whom he took the rib out of and formed you? It’s not all about the color of the eyes, the height, the weight, the car, the house, the bank account, but it is about “The Fit.” God did not use man’s foot bone, because he did not intend for man to walk on woman. God did not use the backbone because he did not intend for man to walk in front of woman. God did not even use the head bone because God did not intend for woman to walk in front of man. God used man’s rib, which God took from his side. Do you get it? God intends for man and woman to walk side by side. It’s a partnership.

To understand your role, look at the type of substances that man was created from and woman was created from. Brothers, you were created from the dust, an external substance. You are to provide external protection and security. When you hug her, your arms should be outside of her arms. Sisters, you were created from a bone, an internal substance. You are to provide internal protection and security. When you hug him, your arms should be inside of his arms. As a matter of fact, when you look at the primary function of the ribs, it protects the lungs and the heart. Brothers, you need to understand that you can’t move, you can’t walk unless you have good bones. Sisters, you are the minister to the true essence of your man, his inner person, his heart. Brothers, God gave you his breath, his spirit. You are the priest. You have divine authority- not society authority, not masculine authority but God-ordained authority. As priests you have the authority to come up against every evil force that is attacking your home, your family, your loved ones! Remember, GREATER is HE that is within YOU, than he that is in the world.


D.K. Kearney

5 thoughts on “DOES HE OR SHE “FIT”?

  1. Great post! These words resonate most with me, “God intends for man and woman to walk side by side. It’s a partnership.” When men and women attempt to exist in a marriage outside of this model, a related and even deeper loneliness experienced before one was joined with another is likely to ensue. It is unfortunate many marriages are estranged where husbands and wives compete and/or aim to conquer each other. This has a pernicious effect on a marital partnership, because as Scripture reminds, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3)

    I guess the question now for the married men and women in such situations is whether or not to pack their bags and part, or to hang in and work it out. But that’s another blog, or another visit with one’s marriage counselor, 🙂 Thanks for sharing!

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